A Gift or a Curse of Living
by lychiis.plum
Summary: Tohru admired the well-known Kyo Sohma in University. Her admiration became nostalgic, and later lustful. One mistake costed her future. [AU] [OOC]
1. Chapter 1 (updated)

_Everything feels so familiar..._

It was a new school semester and for some reason, I felt nostalgic from the memories of the past year. Not all of the past year was memorable; Not the days of taking the train with my friends after school, nor the count down of mandatory courses in order to graduate. What I was sad to let go was the fact that my muse (or should I say my admired person) was gone starting this semester. His name was Kyo Sohma. His distinctive features were his orange hair and ruby eyes. The first time I met him was at a supplementary class for Organic Chemistry II. He was a Strategic Learning Leader, even though he was a year older than me. He was patient with a lot of students and always friendly to help others. A lot of students liked him... ...I admired him because he helped students with open arms. At that time, I was in awe even if it was only his job to help us.

Now, _he's gone._ _That's too bad..._ My mind was thinking of him as I was walking in a hallway heading towards a new classroom for my Biology supplementary class. It was a similar system of teaching like the one Kyo lead, and since I only had Kyo as my leader, everything would be compared to Kyo's class. I tried to stay positive as I entered the classroom. The first thing I noticed was that already, a student was in the class. What was odd was that he had grey hair (even though, he looked young) and purple eyes. I would usually sit away from strangers, but since my curiosity got the best of me, I courageously sat next to him.

"Hi." I greeted, waiting for his response. Instead, a new Strategic Learning Leader spoke.

"Hi! Please choose a seat: we will be working in groups of 3 or 4. Sit in where there is a sticky note. The first activity will be to write down terms that you learned in class, and then turn to a neighbor... then..." I zoned out as I kept nodding to whatever the new leader said. _She doesn't seem anything like Kyo Sohma._ I internally sighed. At that point, the student next to me looked up. When the leader finished talking, she went back to her seat and I diverted my eyes to the student without moving me head. He didn't seem to notice, but he did squint his eyes at me.

"What?" I said openly as now I turned to him.

"Nothing... Just wondering if I've seen you before." I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Hm... I say no, because I haven't seen you around." I answered.

"Oh." He said and went back doing what he was doing.

A good solid 20 minutes passed and the next thing I knew, the supplementary class began. I was writing my vocabulary terms on the sticky notes when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Yes?"

"I said: I'm Yuki. What's your name?" It was the grey-hair with purple eyes guy that introduced himself. I furrowed my brows again.

"If you keep looking like that, you will get deep folds on your forehead."

"What?"

"Your name please?"

"OH, I'm Tohru. Nice to meet you." I said. Suddenly, the SL leader interrupted us.

"Now, since everyone has written down words on the sticky notes, there will be one minute to guess as many words as possible with the help of your neighbors. You may begin!"

* * *

By the end of the supplementary class, Yuki and I were in tears. It wasn't tears of sadness; it was tears of joy.

"I still can't believe you messed up on that word." I said as I accidentally exposed my "hiccup-while-laugh-syndrome" a tiny bit. Usually, nobody would notice it, but Yuki did. He laughed hysterically a second round as we were heading out of class.

"Did I seriously hear that? You either sound like you were burping or yelping." I blushed in embarrassment, but laughed along.

"I don't care what you think." Abruptly, I stopped laughing and immediately stared into Yuki's purple round eyes that were unexpectedly oh-so familiar to Kyo's ruby eyes.

"Don't you ever tell anybody about my demented laugh. Got it?" I hissed.

"Woah! Cool it woman, I was just kidding." I stared at him deeply.

"You promise?" I hissed again.

"Seriously!? I actually like your laugh. It's unique." Yuki backed away as his hands were raised in surrender. I "hmphed!" and walked away.

"I'll see you next time, Tohru!" Yuki called out. I lifted my hand up and waved at him without turning me head. I put down my hand and thought: _I guess this year's supplementary class won't be that bad I suppose.  
_


	2. Chapter 2 (updated)

**A/N:** Hi, I hope the first chapter was alright. Here's the second chapter... - I'm sort of putting a lot of ideas into this story but also not trying to reveal to much information in this chapter... I hope this all makes sense... Enjoy!

* * *

 **March, 24** **th** **2027, [10 Years later]**

 _Anastasia Honda, 32 years old, a single mother of a 4-year-old daughter, both living in an apartment in New York City._ -Written on a social media network.

"Mama, mama!" The daughter called out as she ran into the living room where her mother was sitting on her couch, reading a book.

"Yes my dear?"

"Could we eat chicken potty-pie today?"

"Of course sweetheart." The mother picked up her daughter and let her sit on the couch. She was about to ask her daughter about school but got interrupted by a the telephone tone.

"Hello?" The mother picked it up.

"Hi, is this Ms. Honda from Room 314?"

"Yes. This is her. Who may I be talking to?"

"I'm the landlord Ms. Honda."

"oh." The mother said with disappointment, but then she realized the purpose of her landlord's call.

"I'm calling to remind you that the rent for last month still hasn't been paid yet. Have you forgotten?" The voice on the other side didn't sound too pleasant when asking the question.

"Oh no. Of course I didn't forget, I'll give the payment right away. As a matter of fact, tomorrow morning, I will hand you the payment. No sweat!" Tohru sounded a bit more cheerful than what she wanted it to be.

"Alrighty then, I'm counting on you. Have a good evening Ms. Honda."

"Yes. Ms. Landlord, good night." She replied back as she hung up. She then, let out a huge sigh. Her daughter asked:

"What's the matter mommy?" Anastasia closed her eyes for a moment and then opened them as they stared into her daughter's dark strawberry eyes.

"We're moving out!"

* * *

 **Back in University, 2017 - The Winter semester  
**

It had been a few weeks since the start of University, and already I thought I've spent my days with Yuki; a guy who looks so familiar to Kyo Sohma, a little too much than needed. Yes, he was in my Biology class, but for some reason, after that first supplementary class, I kept bumping into him; in the hallways, during lunch time, and sometimes even after school around four o'clock. It was pretty weird at first, because we didn't know what to talk about besides our Biology class. But when I realized that he took the same train as me, so we started talking more and more about life in general and less about Biology.

There was that one time when Yuki and I were at the train station's small shelter taking cover of the rain. We were talking about life goals how he wanted to be Marine Biologist, and that I wanted to be a Behaviorist Psychologist. Out of the blue, Yuki asked:

"So, you think I resemble somebody huh?" I was a bit thrown back by that question.

"What? I never said that." I gave a confused look.

"Aw, come on, don't make that expression where you don't know what I'm talking about. I know that look in your eyes." I shook my head vigorously.

"Nah-uh, I don't know what you're talking about." I refuted.

"You liked someone, didn't you?"

"What?" I gasped.  
"Admit it, you liked someone that resembled me." I tried to ignore him as I comment:

"Yuki, are you alright? Should I assess you based on your behavior?" Without getting a response I continued: "Let me see, you might be having a LOGIC DISRUPTION!" My volume raised.

"ARE YOU CRAZY? Of course not! Why would you even think that?" I asked and then looked away from him as it seemed like I was mad.

"Aww... don't be mad. I was kidding." Yuki giggled. "It's just..."

"It's just what? Dorthy?" Yuki continued.

"It's so obvious that you liked a person that looked like me in physical features. I wouldn't blame you, my face does look dashing, doesn't it?" I giggled at that silly, narcissistic comment.

"You see, you're giggling that means I'm correct!" Yuki said. I stopped giggling and acted serious.

"Like I said before, I don't know what you are talking about." I looked away. But this time, Yuki wasn't paying attention to me anymore.

"Yuki? Yuki?" I nudged at him as he seemed to be staring at a certain angle. I tried looking at what he was staring at, but couldn't really catch anything. The only thing that whizzed pass my sight was an orange blur. I looked back at Yuki.

"Yuki? Earth to Yuki? What's going on?" I waved and made silly faces at him. Suddenly, Yuki snapped awake.

"What just happened? Did I miss the train?"

"What? No."

"Oh. Thanks Tohru." He's violet eyes dimmed a bit as he looked down.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Nothing." He shook his head as he kept looking on the ground. "I thought I saw someone I knew. But it was nothing." I raised an eyebrow suggesting if he was certain.

"To me, it looked like you saw a ghost." He shook his head and gave me an O.K. sign.

"Alright. Whatever you say." I gave up, as I walked away from him.

"Wait? Where are you going?" I pointed to the train tracks as the train arrived to the station. When the train stopped, I hopped on it and thought about the "ghost" that Yuki "saw". _What is the mystery of that ghost?_


	3. Chapter 3 (updated)

**University life, 2017:** It was already February and life as a university student was just too much pressure and stress. You know why? Well, it's because of midterm tests. That week, I had 3 of them. Monday Wednesday and Thursday, and the Biology exam was the last one. Besides, having Yuki as my buddy, I was also lucky to be reunited with my long lost friend, Arisa Uotani. I realized that she took two of my four classes; Neurobiology of Motivations and Neurobiology of Memory. At the moment, I was studying with Arisa.

"So we need to know this rat experiment for the drinking motivation?" I asked as I was going through my notes.

"Yes. Man, I always get thirsty or hungry whenever we talk about food in that class." She said. I agreed. Our class was always right before lunch period, and since the first half of this semester, we are talking about food and drinks; I always heard Arisa's stomach grumble. In high school, she was a jock; loved soccer and football. She was blonde and tall that some short guys would always either be afraid of her or scared of her. She sometimes would tell me funny stories about it and I would chuckle. As Arisa was telling me one of her soccer stories, she abruptly stopped as she noticed that I was wearing a guy's sweater. She asked:

"So what's the deal between you and Yuki?"

"Huh? Weren't we talking about soccer earlier?"

"Forget soccer. I wanna know... What's going on with you and Yuki? You guys seem close."

"Right. Like brotherly close." I said as I looked back at my MacBook.

"Nah-uh, to me, it doesn't seem that way." I didn't say anything. Arisa continued.

"Come on! it's not like I gossip. Clearly, a girl wearing a guy's sweater means there's something more." Arisa's trying to give me a hint.

"Yeah, like brother-sister kind of relationship."

"Yeah, it could be. But it's different when a guy actually gives his sweater to you in midday light, and actually put it on you in midday light." Arisa got me there. I didn't say anything.

"Come on! Just spill the beans!"

"Ok ok! But after that, we seriously need to study." Arisa nodded.

"So I guess, you can say Yuki and I are dating."  
"WHAT? I KNEW IT. NO WAY WAS THAT ACT OF SWEATER-GIVING JUST A SIBLING THING." Arisa exclaimed.

"Yeah, but there's more to it."  
"Well then, tell me!"

 _FLASHBACK_

 _During the weekend, Yuki and I went to a club. He said it was for a pre-celebration before the midterm week, but I didn't believe him because who would organize such event? Right? Wrong. Yuki persuaded me to go, so I went with him. To my amazement, the club was full-blown; Dancer, drinkers, you name it. They were all present. Yuki and I first had a few drinks and then he asked me to dance..._

"Wait! What were you wearing?" Arisa asked. _I had this sparkling indigo dress that left my back bare with a black tights. My muddy brown hair was tied up with a black and purple scrunchie. The music was playing super loud and I just moved my body from side to side. The rhythm and beat were in sync with how I moved. I don't remember what Yuki was doing, but I knew he was staring at me._

" _I didn't know you could dance like that." He was surprised._

" _Haha, you like?" I asked as I was trying to tease him. He didn't respond. He just observed me move. I continued._

 _"It's actually my first time at a dance club."_

" _No kidding." It seemed like Yuki liked what he saw, and so he joined me dancing. I kept swaying my body until the two of us were dancing very close on the same beat and rhythm of the music. It was like an imaginary string was binding us together._

" _Why don't we get a drink." Yuki suggested as he was super close. Practically, I could felt his breathing on me._

" _I'm not hungry though." I whined.  
"I said drink! I'll get you a drink!" I nodded, and he had to pull himself off me to get drinks._

 _A few minutes later, he reappeared and took my arm._

" _Hey! I'm not done dancing."_

" _You need a break."_

" _No I don't." But I still let him drag me to a round table._

" _Are these even university students?" I asked as I saw some people play beer pong, some laughing hysterically._

" _Yeah. I think…" Yuki said. The sound of music was blasting out that I was getting a little dizzy._

" _Yuki, I think we should go."_

" _What? No! Come on! It's just the beginning."_

 _"Please, I don't feel well." I looked at Yuki, which he held on to me and gave in. The next thing, I knew, I was kissing Yuki on his bed as tears started to form. When Yuki saw that he stopped for a minute._

 _"Tohru, Tohru! Are you alright?"_

 _"Yeah. I'm fine. Please, I want more!" We were making out until Yuki started taking off his pants._

 _"WAIT!" I practically yelled. Yuki stopped. I whispered: "Can we not go down there, please. I'm not ready yet." Yuki nodded and kissed my tears away._

 _FLASHBACK ENDED_

"SO!? What happened then?" Arisa asked. I looked at her.

"Nothing. Nothing happened. Since my dress was ruined, I went to dry-clean it before coming to school. I saw Yuki in my first class of the day and he just gave me his sweater. No big-gy!" Arisa blinked at me for what seemed like a long time before saying:

"You crazy? He gave you his sweater in that kind of grant gesture. And you say it's nothing?"

"Whatever. That's why I said: you can call that dating." I looked back at my MacBook. Arisa sighed heavily as she whispered:

"I don't think he would label it as that though." I tried to ignore that low comment and said:

"Come on, let's just get back to studying."

 **END OF CHAPTER 3**


	4. Chapter 4 (updated)

**FYI:** There are some lemon-ish/lime scenes. **YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.**

* * *

 **March 25th, 2027:** **New York City, NY.** Tom Jones song was playing in the background. " _Wow Wow Wow, She's a lady, Talking about that little lady…"_

A lady with straight black long hair with bangs, wearing her black big Prada sunglasses and a beige sunshine hat was strutting on the sidewalk with her daughter Grace. Grace was wearing a sunny yellow dress and pink sandals. From afar, if anyone noticed them, they looked fancy and stylish, but Anastasia knew what state she was in. She needed money, she needed a job, she needed a lot a things. However, she knew that all of those needy things can't be compared to Grace. Grace was her gift send from above. It was also a constant reminder to not give up on living. She loved her daughter very much that she can't afford to let Grace suffer. Right at this moment, they 'moved out' from their sixth apartment and with their suitcases, went to a nearby park.

"Go on Gracie, go on and play. I just need to make a few calls." Grace nodded and went to the swings. As Grace was playing in the playground, Anastasia sat on a bench and watched the scenery for a bit. She spotted an ice cream truck and went to buy a big vanilla ice cream for Grace. She liked to spoil Grace with whatever she could. It at least got her mind off of reality.

After finishing the ice cream, Gracie went back and played with the other children, and Anastasia dialed her friend's number.

"Hello, may I speak with Momiji, please?"

"Anastasia Honda? Is that really you?" By the sound on the other side, Anastasia knew she was speaking with Momiji Vanderbilt, a friend and colleague she knew from her last job.

"Hey! It's been a long time. I was wondering if your mother still lives in LA?"

"Yeah, why? Need some help with something?"

"No, I just need a favour from her. May you send me her address?"

"Yeah sure. I'll text you." Anastasia was glad she called Momiji because he didn't ask questions that normally her other friends would ask. It gave her a breather and she appreciation that from him.

"Yes please. It's very nice to hear your voice Momiji, thanks."

"It's my pleasure, and I'm also fond of having you call me." Anastasia chuckled.

"I'll talk you to soon alright?"

"Yeah, anytime." Anastasia hung up the phone. _Great! Now I have a plan on what to do. I just hope Serena Vanderbilt can help me._

All of a sudden, Grace ran back to her mother, crying out:

"Mommy, mommy!"

"What is it dear?" Anastasia asked in a worry. Grace was in tears as she hiccuped her words.

"They, hic, they say that I hic, don't have hic, a father..."

"Who said?" Anastasia asked as she glared at the kids at the playground. Grace shook her head as she buried her face in her mother's arms.

"Mommy, I do, don't I? I do have a father. Right? He's just somewhere in the world?!" Gracie started sobbing.

"Oh dear. Come here. It's alright... it's alright..." Anastasia cooed at her daughter as she hugged her.

"Sweetheart, your father is in the world. Just travelling a lot..." She started explaining but paused as she remembered that very special night...

* * *

Anastasia's POV:

...It actually started on a 'not-so-particular' day in 2021. I was still living with my parents and just had a fight with my mother. I hurt her by accidentally tripping her. But she didn't want to hear my explanation and drove me out of the house. I was enraged about that, but more importantly at myself for being so clumsy. I knew my mom was right. She's always right. So I went out to the city and walked around the park. Next thing I knew, I ended up in a bar.

"Can I get a sex by the beach please?" I ordered as the bartender filled up my drink. My thoughts were blank as I drank away. By my fifth drink, a stranger sat beside me.

"What do… you… want?" I was slurring as I lifted up my drink.

"Nothing…" He didn't say anything for a while. But then he turned his head and said: "I see, you're having a bad day."

"Bad day?" haha. "How did you know?" I slurred my words as I felt my eyes becoming heavy. All of a sudden, I started giggling.

"Your face made a weird expression..." I got up from my seat, feeling careless and a bit drowsy. I started swaying my hips from side to side.

"Bartender! Turn up the music please!" And the volume was up. It was EXO's _[a K-pop group]_ Every Night. I danced to the music and looked at the guy sitting at the bar.

"Did you know I used to have a boyfriend that would look at me exactly the same as what you are doing now?" I invited him to dance with me.

"No, I don't dance."

"Oh! Come on! Who doesn't dance with that look in your eyes." I grabbed the guy's arm as he let go of his drink and we swayed together on rhythm. We were really close that for some odd reason, I had a stomach full of laughter.

"What's so funny?" He asked but didn't stop dancing.

"Nothing... ...And you said you didn't dance..." I put my arms around his neck, and boldly smacked my lips on his. He seemed shocked, but he neither pushed me away nor tried to engage in the kiss.

I didn't care. I started giggling again as I swayed my hips and rolled my shoulders to the music while still having my arms around his neck. I started to pull away from him as I wanted to move to the center of the dance floor, but suddenly, he gripped my arm firmly and whispered:

"Come with me." The bartender was about to refute as we passed by, but the guy signaled something for the bartender to be silent. For me, that wasn't important, I didn't care, I was just in my giddy world.

"Where are we going?" I slurred as I chuckled.

"Somewhere private." He said as he was still holding my hand. When we entered a smaller space, I saw my reflection in my mirror.

"We're in the restroom?" The guy didn't reply back. He locked the door and then picked me up and sat me on the counter. He then slowly intertwined my fingers with his and leaned in. I also leaned in and smacked another kiss on him. But then as I was about to pull away, his other hand was on the back of my head and kissed me harder like he's trying to tell me that he was serious. My insides were heated as if every kiss after that serious kiss felt like burning fire. We kept on kissing until his lips were on my nape and then down to my breasts. With every kiss, the sensation felt too good and this kissing help escalating until our tops where off and a loud voice from outside was knocking the door.

"EXCUSE ME. THIS IS A PUBLIC FACILITY." Everything stopped. We were both out of breath and tried to adjust ourselves while still in a tipsy state. Slowly, the guy started putting on his shirt. I asked dumbly.

"What happened? I don't wanna stop." I pouted as I lay down on the cold counter. He pecked my lips and whispered:

"No. Not here. Let's go back to the front…" I nodded like a good puppy. Once he was done dressing up, he looked at me; who was barely dressed. He lifted my arms and helped me put my shirt back on. When that was done, we opened the door. There, standing impatiently was a grumpy old woman. She gasped.

"OH no, you didn't." I was too tired to process anything that I didn't hear anything after that.

When we got back to our seats, the guy paid the bill and with his arms around me, we walked out of the bar like we were a compatible couple. I shivered.

"Are you alright?" I nodded again as I smiled widely. The guy looked around and then asked me.

"Wanna go to my place? You don't seem well..." I held onto him like he was my savior and whispered into his ear:

"Is that really what you think of me?" And then I bit his ear. It got him enticed and right away, he carried me to his apartment. I squealed on the way to his apartment until he put me down on a bed. I tried to kick him but he dodged it. I looked at him and a smirk creeped onto his face.

"Yo, why are you looking at me like that?" He walked closer to me.

"Please, stop looking at me like that. I know something's fishy when I see one." He kept walking slowly towards me like a predator catching its prey. When he finally 'caught' me. I yelped. Kisses were tickled from my nape to my face. I giggled but got distracted with kisses intercepting my giggles. He then gently brushed his finger against my cheek.

"What, huff, are you, huff, looking at?" I asked. He doesn't say anything, instead slowly it felt like he was engulfing me with his deep kisses. His deep kisses were like at the bar ones; they made me ache for more. I soon forgot my rationale and realized that I was in a deep pool. He kissed me again and again. For every kiss, it felt like I was on a deeper level. But I wasn't alone. I knew that he felt the same as me. There was some kind of exhilarating feeling that we couldn't let go of. Our bodies were moving as one in sync. Clothes stripped away as the kissing and touching got intense and heated. I grabbed his hair and he responded with a groan. At one point, he was panting heavily and looked at me as if I was an angel sent from heaven.

* * *

"Mother? Mother! ... Are you alright?" Anastasia snapped out of the memory.

"Yeah, sorry sweety. Come on, let's get out of here."

 **END OF CHAPTER 4**


	5. Chapter 5 (updated)

**Back to March Break, 2017:** It was a week after Tohru Honda finished all of her exams. She finally had the chance to stay in and sleep. But something was bothering her. She glanced at the washed Burgundy sweater that Yuki gave her, and then at the clock in her room, and then back at the sweater. She kept doing that because she wasn't sure if it was a good idea to go by Yuki's house. She remembered the address since she's been there after the party.

"Ughhh!" She yelled out as she put a pillow over her head.

"What should I do?!" From downstairs, Tohru's mother asked:

"What's going on Tohru? Is everything alright?" Tohru put the pillow down and decided for herself: _No! I'm gonna go. It's the only way to bring this sweater back. Besides, I need to_ _talk to Yuki about this kissing territory_ _._ Tohru replied back as she ran down the stairs with the burgundy sweater.

"I'm fine mom, I'm just gonna go return this sweater to a friend. I won't be long."

"Alright sweety, just remember to be back for supper." And with that, Tohru was out the door and heading towards Yuki's place. She was wearing a denim one piece jumpsuit with a white t-shirt underneath. She also braided her brown chocolate hair into two. She had a handbag, which she carried Yuki's burgundy sweater in it.

* * *

After 30 minutes by bus, she finally stood in front of Yuki's house. She was about to walk up the steps when she heard a conversation near Yuki's house.

"Please, Kyo don't go. You know, I love you." Tohru froze in place. _Kyo? Did I hear right?_

"Babe. I know you want to see me. I get it. But could we do this some other time? I just got back and I need rest." Tohru looked around and decided to eavesdrop from behind a fence. _It's not like I'm stalking or anything..._

"Yeah, so it's a perfect time to-" The male voice interrupted.

"Please Kagura. I beg you, just leave already before the situation gets worse..."

"NO! Come oooon..." The female voice begged. The orange haired guy poked his head out from a wall, and looked around. When he saw that the coast was clear, he held the raven haired lady's hand and they both scurried away. It was the first time Tohru saw the raven haired lady. She looked fashionable with her asparagus green shaded eyes sparkling as she only looked at the orange haired guy. The orange haired guy was definitely Kyo Sohma. His ruby red eyes were undoubtedly his best feature. _It's_ _Kyo Sohma! AHHH! But wait! Why is he back in Okayama?_ _More specifically, where are they going?_ Tohru had a lot of questions for something that's none of her business. She almost forgot that Yuki was standing on the other side of the fence, calling her.

"Tohru! Tohru! Earth to Tohrruuuu!" Tohru snapped out and smiled at Yuki.

"What are you doing over here?" Yuki asked.

"Oh, um... I came to bring back your newly washed sweater. Thank you for lending it to me." Tohru handed the handbag to Yuki. Yuki grabbed the sweater and then tried to give the handbag back to Tohru, but she was gone in an instant.

* * *

Tohru ran. She couldn't stop thinking about Kyo. _Why? Why is he back? He shouldn't be back. Should he?_ She ran and ran, until she hit an intersection, she stopped, and looked around. She felt hopeless like she lost her most precious pet, except this wasn't her pet; it was a push and tug of not being able to let go of the past, and how to work with the present. One side is Kyo, the other is Yuki.

 **END OF CHAPTER 5  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**Still March Break 2017:** I was huffing and puffing and not being able to think straight. I didn't realize that Yuki had followed me and was calling my name.

"To"-huff- "ru!" -huff, huff- "To" -huff- "ru!" I turned around.

"Yuki? What are you doing here?" I asked as I thought the conversation at the house was over. He lifted one finger and tried to slow down his heavy breathing. I waited. Then he spoke.

"We didn't finish our last conversation..."

"Um, last I thought, we did." I quickly replied back. Yuki shook his head.

"Um, no. You gave me my sweater and just ran away. I didn't even get the chance to invite you in."

"No need Yuki. I'm fine. I need to head back." As I was walking away, Yuki blocked my path.

"ayy!" Yuki's purple eyes were all I saw; those sparkling shiny purple eyes. With his intimidating low voice so close to me, he suggested:

"Tohru, my girl, come in for a bit. Nobody's home." It felt like I was hypnotized by that intimidating, sly, low voice and his sparkling 'innocent' purple eyes that I was followed Yuki to his house.

* * *

At Yuki's house, I sat on a couch. While Yuki prepared tea in the kitchen, I asked:

"Where are your parents?"

"Nowhere." Yuki simply replied as he got out from the kitchen with earl grey tea. I had a blank expression. "Come again?" Yuki chuckled.

"I'm kidding, they're on a business trip and won't be back until the next week. Why?"

"Oh nothing, I was just wondering. The house seems clean."

"Oh course, it's clean. We have a maid that comes in every so often to do the chores." I teased him.

"Aha! Yuki, there's something I didn't know about you: You don' do chores."

"What are you talking about? If we are going to play that game, then tell me something I don't know about you." Yuki instructed.

"What? No! You already know my secret. I don't wanna tell you more."

"What secret? That you're bad with alcohol? Ha, that's not a secret. Anyone would know if they had a drink with you." I frowned.

"Enough about the alcohol! I meant my muse... the one that looked similar to you..." Yuki didn't say anything.

"Why so quiet all of sudden? Cat's got your tongue?" Just then, the door slam was heard as both Yuki and I looked at who just entered the house. To my horror, Kyo Sohma was standing in the living room, just a few meters away from me. His hair was wet, and it seemed like he was out of stamina. It also seemed like he didn't see me, because he called out:

"My otouto! You there? Is dinner ready?" Then Kyo sat down on the same couch as me. My eyes were glued onto Kyo; feeling giddy, but nervous. There were so many questions swirling in my mind that it was best to keep them to myself for now. I kept observing him even when Yuki was back in the kitchen. I kept staring until Kyo eventually turned around and spotted me. I vaguely smiled and he smirked back at me while asking Yuki.

"Yuki, who's this lady? Is she your girlfriend?" Kyo kept smirking at me as he shifted his spot closer to me. When we were just inches away, Yuki interrupted:

"YES ANIKI! PLEASE, stay away from Tohru. She's mine." _She's mine? I'm his? ANIKI? ..._

"WHAT?" Both Kyo and Yuki turned their heads to look at me.

"DID YOU SAY ANIKI, YUKI? I glared at Yuki as I pointed to Kyo.

"That means you two are brothers!?" Yuki didn't respond, instead his expression turned dark like the first time on the train. _(refer to Chapter 2)_ Kyo slowly started moving away from me as he said:

"Huh, I think I should go and let you two talk it through. Yuki, thanks for the food, and nice to meet you Tohru." Without another look back, Kyo was gone. I stared at Yuki as he was watching me too. I let down my arm and softly asked:

"Am I really yours? Is that what we are now?" Yuki looked down at his feet and answered me with a question.

"Do you want us to be a couple?" I let out a deep breath as I sat down on his couch.

"I don't know... But I don't like how you said that I'm yours... it sounded like I'm an object that is thrown around." Yuki sat next to me.

"No, you're not an object; that's not what I meant." We snuggled together. He whispered softly in my ears.

"Tohru, I'm sorry for making you upset. But I felt like if I didn't say it, I know I would lose you." I moved away. _Lose me? How can he lose me?_ When I looked into Yuki's purple eyes again, they were not shining anymore. In fact, it seemed like he was conveying a deeper message to me:

 _'If you keep looking at him... I'm afraid that one day, you will be out of my reach...'_

 **END OF CHAPTER 6**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** Hey guys! So my summer starts! YAY! - Gotta make a living... so it's tough to decide what I wanna do in life... So when I figure out what I want, I shall write a bit. :D Here's to the end of exams!

* * *

 **Post 1 Night Stand in (2021):** That morning, I woke up with a light headache and in unfamiliar territory. I put pressure on my eyes and try to avoid the pain that was pounding in my head. In some way, I remembered dancing at a bar, but I don't really know about how I got to this bedroom. I heard someone breathing soundly. I looked around and spotted a man in my bed sleeping. I was suddenly conscious of myself, and realized that I was naked. I slapped my head. _What have I done?_ Abruptly, the phone rang, I quickly picked it up from the floor and answered the call before this man woke up to the loud ringtone.

"Hello?"

"Finally! You picked up! I need you back home. It's about your mom... Tohru? Do you even hear me?" I was listening but when my longtime good friend Arisa talked about my mom, I remembered a few scenes from yesterday; the kissing, the hot sex, and those ruby eyes. _Was it really him?_

"Tohru? TOHRU!"

"YES, I'M LISTENING!" I quickly covered my mouth. It was a bit too loud that I think I woke up the man. _Oops!_

"Tohru, did you hear me? Come home. Your mother is having a break down... to say the least..." _Mom? breakdown?  
_

"Ok. I'll be right there." At that point, I hung up the phone and quickly found my clothing, got dressed and was getting out the door. But as I got out, I peeked at the man one last time. He was unaware of my presence as he stretched, yawned and leaned from side to side. The last thing I saw was when he opened his eyes. Those were the same ruby red eyes as last night. _Oh no! It can't possibly be him!_

* * *

I rushed to get home. But as soon as I saw my house with an emergency ambulence. I froze. _Mom? Oh no!_ I quickly rushed inside.

"Arisa! Arisa! What happened to my mom?" When I spotted my mom's body in a black bag. I cried out.

"MOOOOM!" "Tohru! Tohru! Please let me explain!" Arisa tried to grab me.

"NOoooo! I don't believe this! Mom needs to wake up! She's not- She cannot disappear like that. I didn't even apologize to her yet. Why?" I yelled and screamed until Arisa and some medical officers put me down and I just cried on Arisa's shoulders. When I calmed down, I realized that Arisa and the medical team brought me and my mother to the hospital. Arisa combed my hair as I was lying on her lap. It was silent for a moment until I asked.

"Arisa, how was my mother when you got to my house." Arisa shook her head.

"I don't know. When I got to your house, the medical unit was checking your mother in the living room. Tohru, did you know your mother had cervical cancer?" I sat up.

"What? No that's impossible. Mom never said anything about that."

"Well, that's what the doctors said. Her case was intense and progressive. She only had a few more months tops."

"But... I don't understand..." I started crying again. _Why mom? Why did you leave me? Are you punishing me for leaving you because of the fight?_

* * *

A few days later, Tohru decided to move out. She sold the small house she had lived in for twenty-sum years and dyed her long brown hair black before leaving her hometown. She decided to go to America, change her name to Anastasia and find some work to make a living for herself. She needed an escape route from that looming hometown where she felt like it was her own fault for losing her mother.

In America, at first, she found a waitress job in a café. So she would work during the day and in the afternoon, she would go find more jobs. She then got another waitress job in bars and pubs, where the salary was much higher than in cafés. One of the pubs manager loved the vibe that she carried; a bit of darkness and secretive, but not so overly expressed. The manager also thought that her features were beautiful with her long black hair, and her brown eyes shined in the colored lights. He proposed for her to try dance on a stage. She tried once when not a lot of costumers were present in a pub. She got an applause from a small crowd and decided that dancing was powerful. She believed that it was a medium of self-expression. Specifically it was for her anguish feelings of death she experienced.

 **CHAPTER 7 ENDED**


	8. Chapter 8

**A day in the Year 2021...**

Dancing… It had transformed into a medium of control _(not self-expression); but_ to get what she wanted without being socially inappropriate. The manager that introduced dance to Anastasia was Akito Huang. He previously owned a small but famous pub Huangdi LOVE _(translate: Empire Love)_. Anastasia heard that the old pub had a sensual vibe, even though the clients only ordered drinks or food. There were pool and ping pong tables, and the typical loud music. But the clients there, said that it all felt like a cover up for the more sensual atmosphere.

She also found out that the pub became more popular after the renovation because Akito changed the pub into a club, but still kept the old sensual vibe. He added more entertainments and a show every night to inspire or aspire the clients. One of the entertainments was dancing, and that's how Anastasia and Akito met.

He invested his time for Anastasia, because he just loved the vibe that she gave. It was really compatible with the club that he ran. Specifically, he assigned her to dance for VIP clients only. The 'responsibilities' of the job consisted of her dancing and entertaining the clients in a lounge, and once she was done performing she could socialize with them and try to get a tip from them. The whole purpose was for the clients to be inspired to come again. Once the night was over, her job was done and she could leave. Through this job experience, she learned how to dance in a way that she knew what kind of reaction her clients would make.

She worked for Akito and the Empire Love for half a year. Things were going smoothly until one night when a lot of changes happened. She found that her client was atypical. She performed her tango dance (which was the theme of the week) in a silky short white dress. The top portion of her body was covered, but her legs were bare and long. She also wore beige pumps to add to her outfit. She got off the small stage in the lounge and swayed her hips from side to side as the song "Moondust" by Jaymes Young played in the background. The dress' laces were a bit tangled and she sat close to the client and asked in a sly voice:

"Sir, could you please entangle my laces? It seems like I can't do it myself." The client, who was looking straight ahead, suddenly turned to face her like a robot. Anastasia was lost in his purple grey eyes. From afar, you could see that those eyes had a bit of green in them. She lost her breath, and the moment was priceless.

Finally, a door slam got both of their attentions.

"Ana, it's time." It was Akito by the door. Anastasia nodded and broke away from those eyes. Tonight, she had to dance on stage because one of the dancers was absent. (Hey either way, it was money for her!) She got ready in the changing room where Akito stopped her for a moment.

"Ana, my sweet princess, you never stop surprising me." He kisses her forehead. "Don't leave after the show, when you're changed up, meet me in front of the club, I wanna take you somewhere." Anastasia did not like the sound of his tone. She knew something was up, but gave no signs of doubt towards Akito. She just scurried away to the other dancers and ready for her performance. The performance began and the club was fully packed with men and their hunger eyes. Anastasia tried to be seductive and elegant at the same time. Some men whistled, others giggled. She knew even though the lights were blinding her on stage, she knew, because of her expert in hearing. The performance ended with a grande applaud. Money were thrown on stage, and the dancers quickly picked them all up. _(Author: Now, who are the hungry animals now?)_ Anastasia got a few bucks and quickly went to the changing room to leave the premises immediately. She did not want to be tied down to Akito forever, she muttered to herself: "I need a new job... I can't be tied down to one job."

On her way out the back door, she bumped into the same client who she did her tango dance with. Those eyes...

"Hey, are you alright? Why are you crying?" Anastasia blinked twice, and realized that she was teary. She sniffed and shook her head.

"I'm alright, I guess some dust went into my eyes." She brushed her tears away.

"Hey, I'm a Doctor. Dr..."

"Dr. Hatori-sama. I know you, you had to give your identity to have time for me at the club. It's policy."

"Oh yes. So I could help you."

"Really?" Anastasia was suddenly a bit frustrated.

"REALLY?! No you can't okay? You ain't a shrink. I don't need your help." She cried out as she ran away. Dr. Hotari-sama watched her go as he thought: _But I need your help. You look just like my late-wife._

* * *

A day later, Anastasia read the news about Akito and the Empire Love Club: Akito was waiting for Anastasia to go home with him, but instead picked up another girl who he thought was Anastasia and left with her. _But she fought him off..._ Police were there because of screams. The girl accused Akito of being a rapist and racist. Since there was no action done, only grabbing the girl from her own free will, Akito got a warning and the Empire Love Club was considered close for the time being.

 _For the time being..._ _This can be my chance to escape._

As Anastasia packed up her stuff from this beautiful hotel room in New York City (Upper Eastside). She decided to go North from Upper Eastside. She google mapped an area... _Yes! Washington Heights... That way Akito doesn't need to know._ Anastasia was out the door when she bumped into Dr. Hatori-sama AGAIN!

"Woha! Where are you rapidly taking off to?"

"None of your business."

"Please, look! Look! I'm sorry about last night. I'm not a psychologist. But I do need you to hear me out." Anastasia was walking away.

"It's about my late wife: Kana. She's gone, and after that tango dance you did. I saw a bit of her in you. Please, if you can. Play my wife for me... I know I'm asking something absurd, but I do need the time to heal. I'll pay you for whatever you need please. Just a few days and then I'll let you go." Anastasia stopped her steps and turned around.

"You mean you'll then let her go." Dr Hatori-sama took a deep breath.

"yes."

"How much are you willing to pay?" Dr. Hatori-sama gave an amount. Anastasia shook her head and lifted her hand. $500.00 US for half a day. Dr. Hatori-sama squinted his eyes.

"Fine! You win." Anastasia wanted to celebrate but knowing that her plan of escape has been modified, she quickly responded:

"Meet me this afternoon at Harlem Xth Avenue and XXth Avenue. We will begin then." Anastasia was about to walk away but then turned around: "Don't follow me. GOT IT?" Then Anastasia walked away from Dr. Hotari-sama. As she walked away from him, she thought: _Well, at least I'll be earning some cash for the time being._

 **END OF CHAPTER 8**


	9. Chapter 9

**Same day in 2021…**

Anastasia's POV:

I unpacked my stuff at a hotel in Washington Heights, NY. I lay down on the bed as I thought of what that Dr. Hatori-sama said.

" _It's about my wife: Kana. She's gone, and after that tango dance you did. I saw a bit of her in you. Please, if you can, play my wife for me… I know I'm asking something absurd, but I do need the time to heal…"_ I sighed as I thought about him. He's a sad man, needing someone else to act as his wife just for healing purposes. It is absurd, but as I thought about it, I kind of understood his feeling.

 _It would be like someone else acting as my mother... But I don't think that would be enough, they should build me my house, my home, my everything… But reality is cruel... it would never be real._ My phone rang and stopped me from thinking all the sad stuff. I quickly got up from bed and answered my phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's me Dr. Hatori-sama. Where are you?" I checked the time, it was around 3:30PM.

"I'll be right there." I hung up before he said anything else, and quickly dressed up as a young woman. I wore a light brown bobbed hair and a flowy dress to the ankle.

As I arrived to the meeting spot, Harlem Xth Avenue and XXth avenue, I spotted Dr. Hatori-sama sitting on a bench.

"Hi." I greeted him. He turned around and his eyes kind of brightened a bit.

"Ka-I mean, Anastasia. Wow!"

"Call me Kana. Hi, Hubby. What are you doing here on a lazy Sunday afternoon?"

* * *

Dr. Hatori-sama's POV:

That woman greeted me with such pleasantry that I thought it was really Kana.

"Ka-I mean, Anastasia. Wow!"

"Call me Kana. Hi Hubby. What are you doing here on a lazy Sunday afternoon?" I blinked twice. _Kana?_ Oh right! She's embodying my late wife. I think I surprised her because I got up and held her free arm.

"Come with me my love. I want to take photos of you. You look beautiful today darling." It seemed like Anastasia was caught off-guarded.

"Photos?"

"Yes darling, Kana always loved me taking pictures of her."

"But-"

"please? Just once. I know, I didn't ask you and tell you what my late wife was. But you are doing pretty well." Anastasia seemed to shake her head, and replied back timidly.

"Ok. But please do it fast, I don't really like the sun." She put her sunshine hat over her head. To me, it felt real, Kana was right in front of me. I took out my camera and started taking pictures of my wife.

After twenty minutes, Kana felt unsteady.

"Darling, could we take a break. The sun is shining too brightly."

"Yes. I'm just finishing up, one more picture." "Smile!" Kana raised her head a bit, but what I saw was the rarity of her brown eyes. It glimmered in the sun.

"You're so beautiful Kana." She got up as I finished taking a picture of that rarity. I started to pack up.

"Shall we go to a coffee shop?" Kana looked nervous as she looked around. I thought maybe Anastasia was giving up, but the girl looked straight at me and said:

"Hubby, I don't know where's the coffee shop…" It was so sweet and cute that I instantly dropped everything and hugged her.

"Kana, I'm never letting you go." I squeezed her so much that she yelped. I released her.

"Sorry."

"it's alright. I know Hotari-sama's feelings. I'm the same. I love you." Those words, 'I love you.' She said them so easily. I know I can say it. But in my mind, her appearance was Kana but she's not her. She's Anastasia. I know the truth of Kana, but I just…

An arm rested on my shoulder, I glanced up.

"It's ok. You don't need to say it. I know how you feel. Besides, Kana always says it first no?" I sniffed and nodded. It was true, The Kana that I remembered always said things first, even if it was wrong, she said it anyways. That was how bold she was.

We got my camera and blanket, and walked into a coffee shop. We sat at a table and a waitress asked.

"What would you two like?" I quickly replied.

"Hot cappuccino for my lady and black coffee for me please." Kana looked at me in a funny way.

"What is it darling?" She then dismissed her funny look and gracefully said.

"Oh nothing, I didn't know you would remember what I would like."

"Well, of course. We've been together for twentisome years. Don't look down on me. I'm your man!" I pat my chest two times and made a peace sign. Kana giggled.

"You are too funny. It's ridiculous." I frowned. Kana would not say that.

* * *

After the coffee shop, we promenaded for the rest of the day. It was getting late and I did have to owe the lady $500 US. I knew that it wasn't completely Kana, because there were times where I didn't think Kana would respond that way. But I knew that to her, it was a job. I took out my wallet and handed her the money.

"Thank you Anastasia. I really appreciate the effort you made." The lady's sweat from her hair was soaking up the wig.

"No problem. I tried to be her. But as long as you thought it was worthwhile, I'm glad to help anytime. (for now) – I do plan on getting new jobs. You have my contact?"

"yes!"

"So if there's anything call me."

"Same for you! If you are having problems, call me too! I'm happy to help. I owe you one."

"No need Dr. Hatori-sama. But I will remember you saying that." Anastasia turned around and headed back to her hotel. I wanted to turn away, but in my mind, I learned something today, I may mourn for my wife for the rest of my life, but I know she wouldn't like that. This half day reminded me of giving life a chance; Kana would say: _Give life a chance, find the happy things in life, in nature, even if it's just a little or a small amount. It's worth it. Remember that sweetie. I want you to remember that…_

 **END OF CHAPTER 9**

* * *

 **A/N: So this is a tribute to "Reminding Me" song by Shawn Hook ft. Vanessa Hudgens. Hope you liked it.**


	10. Chapter 10 (TBC)

" _Not going home… Oh I've been dancin' On my own, on my own. As long as you're looking, I don't feel alone. This music just been goin' on, goin'on! But as long as you're looking, I'm not going home…"_

This music by DVBBS & CMC$ feat. Gia Koka explained Anastasia's feelings. Since she's been working as a cheap actress, a bartender, a waitress, a dancer on stage… All these jobs required the late nights and the satisfactory of her clients. She has been doing these jobs since she lived in America, since her parents' tragic accident, since she got lost in dancing; in her jobs. It has been a long time since she cared about herself; or at least reflected upon herself. It did not matter to her if she's been working in these low-waged paid jobs. She's gotten used to it, and it's become part of her life. Of course, there are consequences of doing these kind of jobs; for example, if her performance doesn't meet the watchers' expectations, the managers would fire her and she wouldn't feel comfortable living in the same area as her manager, so she would have to move. Moving out, to her, was like a switch that can make her life start over. It's been like this even when she had Grace. Grace was her light and joy. She focused everything on her daughter. She realized that having Grace was a gift sent from above and it's something that she should treasure forever, and so all her efforts and joy got passed down to Grace. She knew when Grace becomes a teenager, that the joy would diminish… and so she would rather give everything to Grace while she still can…

This song was playing inside her head as she and Grace were sitting in LaGuardia Airport, waiting for their flight to be called out to Los Angeles. Anastasia did not pay attention to Grace for a moment until her daughter said:

"Daddy?" Anastasia quickly got up and looked for her 4 years old daughter. But then, she froze in place. She could not believe her eyes. Her eyes were definitely playing tricks on her, because the shadow figure by the windows had a phone in hand and was staring at a girl, who was holding on a piece of fabric on him.

 **To Be Continued in the next installment**

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Hi readers! I'm sorry that this story has to end like this for now. I've decided to write a second installment which will be Kyo's POV, instead of continuing this because I need a break from this story. I'll let you know when the second installment will be up: But stay tune for  A Gift or a Curse of Staying.

 **Created: 07/03/2017  
**

 **Re-edited: 10/17/2017**


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